Alae Mercurii Volume 10 Winter Edition | Page 33

CREATIVE CONTENT STEF STUBBS: LATIN JOKES

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Why did Persephone only eat six pomegranate seeds?

She had a hard time getting the fruit open!

What is Hestia’s favorite Cardinal direction?

Vesta! (West-a)

What do you get when a fish and a bull have a baby?

A minnow-taur! (Minotaur)

Why was Hephaestus thrown off of Olympus?

Well, it was’nt because he was flamin’ hot!

Why was the harvest goddess’s chariot towed?

She forgot to pay de-meter! (the meter/ Demeter)

How come Actaeon found himself watching the goddess bathe?

She was rather Ar-te-mis!(hard to miss, ’ard to miss, Artemis)

What are Demeter’s favorite types of books?

She likes books in a Ceres (soft “c”, series)

Why does Victoria prefer Adidas?

She is offended by Nike!

What is Tyche’s favorite type of fish?

She would do anything For-tuna!

What is Prometheus’s least favorite food?

Liver!

What is Cloacina’s biggest pet peeve?

Clogged toilets! (Cloacina is the Roman sewer goddess.)

What does Ares think of Athena?

“She gets on Mi- nerva-s!” (My nerves )

Why can Pluto be so mean?

He has a bad case of the hades! (Hate-ies)

Why does everyone love the Skolependra?

It holds the Ke-to our hearts! (Keto, goddess of sea monsters.)

What are the grounds of the fish-horse college called?

The Hippocampus! (Fish-horse hybrids)

How does the ferryman of the dead contribute to global warming?

He always leaves his char-on (car on, Charon)

Why do all of the gods think that Zeus/Jove/Jupiter is really loud?

He has a thunderous voice!

Why should women not trust swans?

Just ask Leda! (Some myths say she was raped by Zeus when he was in the form of a swan.)

What did the Titan say when he relinquished the sky?

At las! (at last, Atlas, he has an accent!)

Where are you most likely to find magical, fragrant Bulls?

Europa! (She was carried off by Zeus in a bull form )

What is Nephele’s favorite curse word?

“Phrixus”! (Her son)

Why does Uranus have such a dirty mind?

I think you can guess!

What do you do when Minos’s wife is angry?

The only thing you can do is try to Pasiphae her! (Pacify sort of sounds like Pasiphae)

How does Agamemnon’s daughter feel about Aegistus?

She wants to Electra-cute him! (Electra is Agamemnon’s surviving daughter. Aegistus is her mother’s lover. He makes her life horrible.)

What does Cupid/Eros’s wife say when she was joking?

“Ha ha, Psyche!”

What does the Hydra want to study when it grows up?

Hydra-ology! (Hydrology)

How do we know about Athena’s shield?

The knowledge has been passed down through the aegis! (Ages)