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Adjust Everywhere
remains. ‘Adjust everywhere,’ is something ‘we’ have
discovered. Adjust with the one who is speaking truthfully,
as well as with the one who is telling a lie. If someone
were to say to ‘us’, “You have no sense,” then I would
immediately adjust and tell him, “I never had any to begin
with! Why have you come looking for it now? You just
happened to discover this today, whereas I have known
this since childhood.” If you say this, then the problem
ends, doesn’t it? Thereafter he will certainly not come to
you looking for sense. If you do not do this, then when
will you reach ‘your home’ [liberation]?
Adjustment With the Wife
Questioner: Please explain how one should adjust.
Dadashri: Suppose that, for some reason, you are
late coming home and your wife starts to say offensive
things, wrong things such as, “You come home so late. I
will not put up with this, that, and the other...” If she has
lost her temper, then you should say, “Yes, you are right.
If you tell me to, I’ll go back. Otherwise, if you tell me
to sit, I’ll sit inside.” She will respond, “No, don’t go back,
just be quiet and go to sleep.” Then tell her, “If you tell
me to, I’ll eat dinner, otherwise I’ll go to sleep,” to which
she will reply, “No, have your dinner.” So, you should give
in to her and eat. This way, you have adjusted. Therefore,
in the morning, she will serve you a first class cup of tea.
However, if you were to scream and shout at her, then she
would bang your teacup on the table, and [the quarrel]
would continue for the next three days.
Eat at Home or Eat Out?
What can be done if one does not know how to
adjust? Do people actually quarrel with their wives?
Questioner: Yes.