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92 A SINGLE GIRL’S GUIDE TO SOUTH FLORIDA AND BEYOND... GOT MILK??? BY NICOLE FLIER MISC Q 6,1*/( { Guy meets girl. Guy likes girl. (Guy doesn’t really know her, but basically thinks girl is hot). No matter what the circumstances, the next step is pretty much always a given: Guy tries to have sex with girl! The notion of male desires is so widespread (and true) that it has spawned generations worth of conversations and recommendations between women on how to handle their suitors’ earliest amorous advances. And the adage never dies: “If he can get the milk free, why would he buy the cow?” In short, the unspoken rule amongst a lot of women boils down to this: If you have sex with D JX\ RQ D ¿UVW RU VHFRQG GDWH²RU ZRUVH \HW on the very night he strikes up a conversation ZLWK \RX²WKHQ \RXU FKDQFHV IRU D ORQJWHUP relationship with him more often than not, are essentially doomed. Lest we forget, it’s 2011. We live in a very progressive, somewhat gender equal society. Shouldn’t one be able to have intimacy when \RX ZDQW DQG ZLWK ZKRP \RX ZDQW" 6KRXOG DQ individual have to worry that personal choices ZLOO XQGHUPLQH WKHLU FKDQFHV RI ODVWLQJ ORYH" 2U should these choices force you into getting stuck in something that resembles the R-word (Rela- tionship), if you just want something casual and FDUHIUHH" Penelope meets a guy on line, of course. She enjoys his company and is giving him a chance, but remains on the fence if it will ever go beyond just “enjoying” or become “liking/loving” him. Dates 2 and 3 involved some kissing and grop- ing but things remained PG-13. In between dates, Mr. X appears to be a little clingy with lots of texts, calls and emails. Truth be told, Penelope likes the attention to some degree but is cautiously optimistic. Hesitant, but being open, Date 4 comes to fruition on a “school night.” After dinner and cocktails, they call it an early evening. Mr. X drives Penelope home to her apartment and asks to come upstairs. Apprehensive and clearly wary, Penelope gives in. The remainder goes from PG-13 to Rated R in the blink of an eye. All Systems Go!!! It’s “Game On” for this 40-Some-thing who isn’t thinking about tomorrow!Mr. X basically overstays his welcome and spends the night. Penelope just wants him to depart from her apartment immediately after all LV VDLG DQG GRQH 7KH\ ¿QDOO\ SDUW ZD\V LQ WKH morning, but she practically has to kick him out. He senses she is annoyed and reluctantly leaves. By 9am, the calls, emails and texts from Mr. X VWDUW ÀRZLQJ OLNH WKH &RQJR 5LYHU 3HQHORSH LV EH\RQG DQQR\HG 6KH ¿QDOO\ UHVSRQGV WHOOLQJ him she is busy at work. A few more texts are received, unanswered and by 7pm, he still hasn’t gotten the hint. We now have a “Stage Five Clinger”!! Mr. X is a little too much to handle. Hence the game changing email lands in her inbox. Penelope: I hope you’re having a great evening and plans for an even better weekend. I want to apologize for what I did last night. It was my mistake to assume that you wanted me to sleep over. It was our fourth date and I thought things were going extremely well for us. After our 3rd, we came back to my place and things got a little hot. I wanted to but like I said...I don’t want to do anything you don’t want to do. I thought last night’s romantic engagement was going to be the one in which we had sex. You are such a beautiful woman, Penelope. You’ve got a lot going for you and I am very impressed with what you do and how you do it. I also understand if you don’t want to continue this. Whatever happens, I want you to be happy. I want to keep making you happy when we see each other. If you choose not to move farther along with this, I only wish you the best. Good luck with your search for the right man for you. You should have no problem ¿QGLQJ WKH ULJKW PDQ , ZLOO DOZD\V EH KHUH IRU you. If you ever need to talk, you have my num- ber. I am still going to keep in touch regardless. Take care of yourself and I wish you only the best! Yep, you read it correctly! This entire situa- tion is the polar opposite of the norm. Penelope gave it up and had she fancied it, landed the man! Although this situation is probably a rare instance, it only proves that if there is a connec-tion between a man and woman and it’s taken to the next level, anything can and will happen. With this role reversal, Mr. X expected that early intimacy would seal the deal of a future relation-ship, but faced the harsh reality that too much, too soon was not Penelope’s game plan. Had he taken a “chill pill”, things may have headed in a favorable and more long- term direction. He would have “landed the cow” so to speak!Lesson Learned: “Uncertainty and expecta- tions are the joys of life .” - William Congreve (English playwright and poet). Ladies and Gents don’t expect the expected! Go out and BUY some milk. Oh, and maybe some cookies too!!! Nicole, a card carrying “California Girl” was born and raised in a suburb of Los Angeles but now is RIÀFLDOO\ D ´%RFD *LUOµ $ JUDGXDWH RI WKH 8QLYHUVLW\ of Southern California, Nicole owns a private con- VXOWLQJ ÀUP ´)OLHU &RQVXOWLQJµ ZKLFK VSHFLDOL]HV LQ business development, marketing, public relations and special events. Nicole is an avid tennis player; enjoys working out, traveling, and spending time with family & friends. She is also single and ready WR ÀQG ´0U 5LJKWµ September 2011 | www.AtlanticAveMagazine.com