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14 A CLUB TO BE PROUD OF? Newcastle United; if they didn’t exist, would anyone give them credence if we made them up. Firstly, club captain and most valuable player Yohan Cabaye, tired of the breathless race for 9th spot in the table, was peddled to Paris Saint Germain when the magic figure of £20m was offered; this was of no surprise to the Magpie faithful as alleged manager / Ashley’s errand boy Alan “Pards” Pardew had admitted in a press conference he was powerless to stop the player, who must have established some kind of record by scoring the third at Upton Park with his final touch of the ball as an Newcastle United employee, going back home if either Cabaye or Ashley decreed this to be the case. At what other club would an alleged manager be happy enough to put themselves up for public ridicule by explicitly announcing their utter lack of authority? Cabaye’s sale was inexplicable in playing terms, with only kneejerk apologists for the despised Ashley regime able to find any presumed reason for suggesting that it made economic sense as, following the collapse of the Remy Cabella deal and Clement Grenier ruling himself out of a move to Tyneside, the money would simply be banked by Ashley as Newcastle United remain £55m in the black on transfer dealings in the past three years. Sadly, that’s not even a scarcely credible statistic any longer; it’s a depressingly predictable one. No Cabaye, no Remy, no Coloccini (still injured) and further, irrevocable proof that “Pards” has no authority at the club meant the preparations for the Mackem derby game on Saturday 1st February seemed as needlessly chaotic as ever. On the Friday night, I predicted a 2-0 away win. It didn’t take a genius to work out Poyet would set his side up to easily defeat the risible double Ameobi selection and aimless hoof ball tactics of the utterly discredited “Pa ɑ̻