#9 v1 - Page 30

30 JOE ALLON COLUMN WORDS//@LITTLEJOEALLON Well, well, well, where do I start about NUFC? Although I enjoyed most of last season my dad will disagree (I’m not allowed to say what he thought ha ha). My favourites were the Chelsea game at home, as well as Southampton at home. Though I’ve never been more upset than getting beat off the unwashed 3-0 at home in my first ever derby day, think I carried my dad home that day. As for transfers I thought the players we got in January should have been bought earlier in the summer, all those European games and injuries took its toll on a thin squad even more so when we sold Ba, which upset me a bit as he was my favourite player at the time. Then fatty came up trumps in January with the players to just get us over the line. Let’s get started on Cisse. What’s he bloody playing at? I’m not happy about Wonga, but if I earned as much as him a week I would wear a mackem top. Even though I hate the cheesy chip eating scum ha ha. Who is Joe Kinnear? My dad tried to tell me but I still don’t know who he is? He’s just a joker and a liar as far as I can see. I thought the whole Yohan Kebabs thing was funny. Let’s see if he can get us the strikers we need, which I doubt but ya never know. He reckons he’s the dog’s bollocks I bet he was Kate Middleton’s midwife. Sure I’ve seen him there on the telly. As for Mick Harford, I don’t think my dad was born when he played for the Toon, so glad he knocked us back. Let’s hope these clowns get us the players we need to have a good season and fingers crossed. I just want to thank Steve Wraith for letting me do this and wish Pardew and the players all the best for the new season, I can’t wait .You can also catch me in the NO9 before every home game and follow me on twitter @ littlejoeallon, thanks Little Joe Allon. TOON TOON FTM Cisse finally pulled on a Wonga shirt  TWITTER//@LITTLEJOEALLON DEJA  VU? 31 ?UV  AJED THE LITTLE WORDS//DAVEY BROWN Deja vu? Well, although the lack of transfer activitiy at St James’ Park is very similar to last year, it is actually much worse and more worrying this time around because we now have a true clown to complete the circus. Joan, I mean Joe, Kinnear, could cause trouble in an empty house and his radio interview defied belief. One of his first acts was to stop the well advanced transfer of international defender Douglas who we were about to get for nowt. No, I can’t figure that one out either! Especially when a free transfer is right up Ashley’s street and the club spent a lot of time and money tracking and monitoring this player. Then Kinnear shoots off on holiday after telling the world we’d have a new striker in by Friday. That was Friday, July 12th. I am writing this on Monday, July 29th, but there’s still no sign of that striker. Maybe Joe lost him on his way through customs or the player is on the luggage carousel waiting to be claimed? At the time of writing, the failure/ refusal to bring in much - needed reinforcements to the playing staff has alarm bells ringing in many a fan’s ears. Rumours persist about Ashley and the now departed Llambias claiming that the players they bought in January were in fact the Summer signings brought forward. I’ll tell wor lass that the shoes I bought her in May were actually her Christmas present. I’d deserve a slap for that. And so do these fools for thinking they can palm us off with any old shite as and when it suits them. The St James’ Park’ transfer window script is now very boring and predictable.’We tried but just couldn’t get him over the line’, ‘There wasn’t enough time’, etc, etc. If they’re not going to buy anyone, at least spare us the indignity of the post - transfer window patronising and the insults to our intelligence. We wouldn’t want anyone becoming cynical and thinking Mike Ashley gets his kicks out of winding us up now would we? Which brings me to Alan Pardew. The purveyor of many a statement akin to the aforementioned tried and tested excuses. And despite being a man who likes to have his say, his silence was deafening after the appointment of Kinnear. Why? Maybe he was keeping a dignified silence? That would be admirable if it was the case as the vast majority of people would lose it if an idiot like Kinnear came in and instantly undermined their job. Or maybe he had his orders to keep his own counsel? Either way, it added fuel to an already wild fire in the form of frenzied speculation regarding Pardew’s job. The most popular, yet most feared opinion/theory, is that Kinnear is hovering like a starving vulture waiting for Pardew to jump or even be pushed. Time will tell. Pardew has often been labelled a puppet with Mike Ashley pulling his strings. He tells us he is very much his own man but he’s never sounded convincing. Some of his comments sound like he’s reading from the Mike Ashley handbook and some are just bizarre. At the end of last season he rambled on about ‘big offers’, ‘hard to turn down’ and other thinly veiled invites to the likes of PSG to get their wallets opened. ‘This is a big season for Adam Campbell’ was another. Was that said in case we don’t get a new striker in or because we’re NOT getting a new striker in? For someone who claims to be his own man, he doesn’t do himself any favours with CONTINUED statements like these. I was 32 ENTE DOUGLAS - FC TW FREE