it was mostly one at a time . I don ’ t think there is an unacceptable limit . I ’ m fussy about who I have sex with ; hence I don ’ t see myself as a slut . I can ’ t imagine describing any gay man as a slut .”
But some , such as Zio from Bristol , disagree . “ A very high number of sexual partners is nothing to be proud of ; it just shows that you lack self-control and probably have difficulty sustaining a long-term monogamous relationship ,” he says . “ You should be able to have sex with as many people as you want , but if the number you want is three or four different guys a day you should probably think about cutting back – and getting tested .” a different person every week , or every night , then you ’ re not going to be well suited to a monogamous relationship .
“ When you work out what it is that you want , then you can try to make that desire a reality . Although there are people who started long term monogamous relationships with men they met off Grindr , the places you meet people for no-strings sex are not likely to be the places where you ’ re going to meet someone to settle down with .” be focusing on ourselves , and if we ’ re happy with ourselves then that ’ s all that counts .” “ It says more about the shamer than the shamed ,” says Mark from London . “ Why should someone have the moral authority to judge another ’ s sexual behaviour ?”
Antonio from London agrees : “ It smacks of someone who needs to feel superior by pointing out others ’ ‘ flaws ’.” “ Me and my friends joke about it ,” admits Adam from Sheffield . “ I think those who sleep with lots of guys disapprove of those who don ’ t and vice versa .” “ Slut shaming in a group of close friends is arguably just banter , and another means to have a laugh ,” adds Chris from Fleet . “ When it turns to social media and you ’ re being shamed by people you do not know , then it becomes a problem and I do think that people shouldn ’ t do it .”
But a few were in support of the idea . “ I think it ’ s necessary for some people to be told that they ’ re probably risking their health by sleeping with so many people ,” says Zio from Bristol , “ and possibly hurting the feelings of the men they sleep with and move on from .” “ They should be brought to shame ,” adds Jonathan from Derby . “ Sleeping around is one of the common ways of spreading STIs and HIV . Those men will hurt others and eventually themselves .”
Slut Shamng : It ’ s for reasons such as the sexual health and wellbeing of the whole gay community that some believe gay men who enjoy YOUR GUIDE TO BEING A
large numbers of sexual partners SAFER SLUT “ Ultimately it ’ s up to individuals to should be ‘ named and shamed ’ –
work out what ’ s right for them ,” says but it ’ s a notion that the vast majority It ’ s not up to us to tell you how GMFA ’ s Matthew Hodson . “ If what of guys we spoke to disagreed with . many people you should sleep you want is to settle down with that “ I think it ’ s wrong and hurtful ,” says with . Your sex life is your own one special person , then racking up Paul from Telford . “ I don ’ t think it business and if you want to shag the notches on your bedpost may not would be my place to comment on 100 people a week then that ’ s your be helping you find him . If your idea anybody ’ s sex life ,” says Sals from decision and no-one should make of sexual satisfaction is sex with Manchester . “ Ultimately , we should you feel bad about it .
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