“ I don ’ t have one ,” says Sam from London . “ You say slut , I say ‘ sexually successful ’.” “ I would never refer to someone as a slut ,” says Mark from Rugby . “ I don ’ t think there is such a thing ,” adds Jamie from London . “ It ’ s a derogatory term used by insecure people who have hang-ups about sex . Anyone who calls themselves a slut should really have a think about what that actually means .” “ Gay men are likely to have more sexual partners than heterosexual men ,” acknowledges GM- FA ’ s Matthew Hodson , “ but the idea that we ’ re all out every night of the week bonking anything in trousers that moves is a fantasy . Most gay men have fewer than five partners in a year , and most gay men want to settle down with a long-term partner . Some gay men will have many more partner s than that – and if that ’ s the choice that you make , you ’ re going to have to take greater care not to be involved in the transmission of STIs .”
How old you are inevitably affects how many sexual partners you ’ ve ever had . Of the 16 to 24-year-olds who replied to our questions , over half had slept with less than ten men , about a third had slept with 11- 50 men , 13 % had slept with about 50 men , but none had slept with over 100 men .
There was a steady increase in the number of sexual partners among 25 to 34-year-olds , with just less than half saying they ’ d had sex with less than 50 men , and just over half saying they ’ d had sex with more than 50 men . Altogether , a third had slept with less than ten men , about 15 % had slept with 11 to 50 men , a third had slept with 51 to 100 men , about 20 % had slept with over 100 men , but none had slept with over 500 men . The number of sexual partners increased again once we passed the age of 35 . Amongst 35 to 44-yearolds , the majority had slept with over 100 men ( indeed , about a third now said they ’ d slept with over 500 men ), and none had slept with less than ten men . “ To me , being slutty is more about attitude than number of partners – but it also depends on how many years you ’ ve been having sex ,” says Richard from Devon . “ One a week ( which isn ’ t slutty ) for over 20 years is over 1,000 , but someone having sex with 1,000 men in a couple of years could probably be regarded as a slut !” It ’ s obvious to say that the older you are the more likely it is you will have slept with more people . But does the fact that you are in your 30 ’ s and have played with 300 men make you a slut ?
SLUT CONFESSIONS : David from London is one of the guys who considers himself a slut . “ Sluts embrace new experiences and are generous with themselves ,” he says . “ There ’ s no limit . As long as the sex is consensual and fun there should be no shame in the plurality of it .” Gary from London also identifies himself as a slut . “ I cannot have an opinion about what makes other people a slut ,” he says , “ but my definition for myself is cheap , casual sex with multiple partners without any pretence of an ongoing relationship , and ideally not knowing their names or anything about them .” “ It ’ s not really something to be proud of but if you have a large sexual appetite you should be able to have sex with as many people as you like ,” says Adam from Wakefield . “ As long as it ’ s safe .” “ I think one partner is enough , but for many guys it ’ s difficult to meet
Mr . Right ,” says Mel from Cardiff , another of the 11 % who said they are sluts . “ You keep dating people . When it comes to having loads of one night stands , then the person tends to be a slut .” Mel also supports the idea of ‘ slut shaming ’ – the notion of being made to feel bad , guilty or inferior for having slept with too many men . “ Because many times you have sex with people you don ’ t know and take risks .”
MULTIPLYING THE RISK “ If you have lots of sexual partners the chances of picking up an STI are going to be greater ,” says GM- FA ’ s Matthew Hodson . “ Even if all you do is cuddle and tug each other off , more partners will increase the chances of picking up crabs , which may be easily treatable but is pretty unpleasant all the same . If you have riskier sex , the range of infections you may pick up will increase .”
So is having lots of sexual partners something to be proud of , or it ’ s a bad thing ? “ It ’ s a personal choice ,” says Andrew from Nottingham , “ but you should not see the next lay as just another notch on the bedpost . As long as you are safe and not hurting anyone , who you have sex with and how many people you have sex with is your own business .”
“ As long as you are using protection and being responsible ,” says Daniel from Harrogate , “ then you can sleep with as many men as you want .”
“ I went through a ‘ slutty phase ’ after splitting with my ex ,” admits Dean from Bournemouth , “ but I wouldn ’ t dream of cheating on my partner .”
“ I ’ m neither proud nor ashamed ,” says Carwyn from Cardiff . “ I ’ ve had sex with several thousand men , but
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