She needs room
because she hasn’t yet learned
to show you
the pieces of art
that define the musings of her make-up
she doesn’t yet know how
to play you the sounds that travel
on the pathway forged from her soul.
So when you ask of her to show you of herself,
expect her to freeze up.
& though she longs to share,
the doubt magnified by the
self-induced stress she places on herself
to be exactly who she believes
you expect her to be,
shrinks her
to a corner so far back in her mind
that by now she’s probably forgotten what you asked
& she pulls blinds down over her eyes
& disappears to the person inside her mind
to be criticised for the certain social death
she’s prepared for herself
while not yet actually having said a word.
Internal dialogue overriding external interaction ,
chaining her to her overactive imagination
giving you no other choice but to leave
because the “do not disturb” sign hanging from her
face affords absolutely no invitation to stay.
& when her judgments are over,
she’s left wishing you would come back
so she could attempt the conversation that she
planned out back in that corner.
But unlike the rehearsed lines that she scripted
for you character..
You are real..
and she wants
so badly
to be real.
SOCIAL ANXIETY
by Sh'kira W